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January 18, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. Yesterday, Russian President Vladimir Putin said those who spread fake news about President-elect Donald Trump are “worse than prostitutes.” I agree, those people are terrible, I bet they wouldn’t...
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May 11, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. According to a new report, more older couples are living together without getting married. No surprise, why buy the cow when you’re getting the curdled milk for free. 2. Late Tuesday night, to avoid...
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June 5, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. Last Thursday, a man climbed a 30-foot-tall bulldozer on a crowded Miami freeway, stripped naked and masturbated in plain view during rush hour. Causing a handful of motorists to use their...
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June 16, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. Pablo Picasso’s granddaughter, Diana Widmaier-Picasso, is starting her own jewelry line. All earnings will come one to a set. 2. You will soon be able to rent President Trump’s childhood home in...
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November 10, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. Last week in Germany, movie-goers were forced to evacuate a theater after a man tried to open a beer with pepper spray. When asked if he was crying because he was exposed to the pepper spray, one...
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July 6, 2018 – Monologue Jokes
1. On Sunday, NBA All-Star and future Hall-of-Famer LeBron James signed a 4-year deal with the Los Angeles Lakers. That story again, John Travolta no longer has the worst hairline in Hollywood: 2. On...
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September 14, 2018 – Monologue Jokes
1. Two people in Britain have been diagnosed with a rare viral monkeypox infection in two separate cases. So I guess Susan has some explaining to do: 2. Rapper Post Malone was involved in a minor...
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January 22, 2019 – Monologue Jokes
1. During an interview over the weekend, when President Trump was asked where he gets the energy to fight as hard as he does, the President responded, “Well, I guess I have good genes.” And now for the...
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March 25, 2019 – Monologue Jokes
1. Thomas Panek, a blind runner, made history on Sunday by completing the 2019 New York City Half Marathon without any human help. Panek said the hardest part of running through New York City’s...
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January 6, 2019 – Monologue Jokes
1. Last week, a Kentucky woman gave her probation officer a dog urine sample during a drug screening. Officials became suspicious when her tests came back positive for snausages. 2. During a rally on...
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